Men, Women and Sex
Ahahaha, gurgle, splurt, snort. This is wonderful, tee hee hee. I don’t think I’ve seen a better argument for men to get a few college degrees under their belt yet.
As Futurepundit reports, there’s a difference in how the desire for sex works out between men and women as a relationship matures. Researchers in Germany interviewed a number of people and came up with results which at first are not all that surprising. At the beginning of a relationship both men and women are delighted to hop into the sack with regularity. As said relationship matures, the men seem to want sex just as strongly while the desire shown by the women for regular hanky-panky drops off.
I don’t see them discussing whether the number of children around has any influence upon this so I don’t know whether they controlled for this or not. But this shouldn’t really be all that much of a surprise anyway, given the regularity that we see surveys showing that women would rather go shopping for a new pair of shoes than have sex with their husbands. Or the even more depressing recent one (in the Blame the Hormones section) showing that Scottish housewives regard conjugal duties as just that, duties, on a par with housework.
However, men have a magic get out of jail free card here. The better educated the men are then the less likely this drop off in interest is likely to be amongst the women. The argument seems to be that a well educated man is a higher class catch than one with less academic achievement, meaning that a certain amount more effort should be put into keeping one once caught.
So gentlemen, I think this might be the strongest argument possible for further education. Get that one, two or more college degrees and you’ll get more sex throughout your marriage. If that isn’t a strong enough argument to get adolescent males studying then I really can’t think of anything else that would be.
August 23rd, 2006 at 1:13 am
What about not getting married? This is news to me, and it makes me even more cautious viz a viz marriage. I like the idea of educational attainment tied into a healthy sex life. It puts a whole new spin on the “earn a college degree to earn more money” argument. Now there’s more reason to get an college education!
My followup question, Tim, is the apparent antithetical nature of these findings. Why would a woman’s interest in sex drop when, biologically, women reach their sexual peak later than men? I think a woman’s average is at about age 30, whilst a man reaches his peak about 20. This is definitely a subject that I think many men would find intriguing and I’m looking forward to hearing more on this in future entries.
August 23rd, 2006 at 11:12 pm
This is complex. It makes sense that women are more attracted long-term to more intelligent mates. But I doubt it’s because these women know “a certain amount more effort should be put into keeping one once caught.” First let’s talk about the “effort.” If it takes too much “effort,” eventually she will not do it any more. This is a problem with many women (and I’m guessing men, too) in the long-term-relationship libido department.
I admit that all long-term relationships take effort, on both sides, to keep things interesting. But don’t you think that a woman will be more attracted, in the long term, to a man who has deeper intelligence, more education, or simply, a more interesting mind? All the women I know really enjoy talking to the men in their lives. Good conversation is very high on their list of who should be “caught.”
As to this “caught” idea: “keeping one once caught?” Wouldn’t some men like to believe there are scores and scores of us women, waiting around, desperate, with fishing poles in hand?
August 24th, 2006 at 7:41 pm
Tim, I think your question about how many kids are on the scene is central to the point. I read recently that the more a man contributes to housework, the more interested in sex his wife tends to be–Here’s a link to the press release on that. Certainly, the more babies you’ve got pulling on your hem, the more work there is to be done, and the more tired a woman is inclined to be. Anyway, I’m using this particular study to inspire my husband to don an apron!
Considering the education question, I’m thinking that perhaps men with higher levels of education are more agreeable to helping out around the domicile due to a greater exposure to feminist theories and to women with career interests. Perhaps men with higher levels of education tend to marry women with higher levels of education—and careers–and those women insist on help around the house. And then with that help around the house, the women feel a bit more receptive.
So, men, don your aprons and get it on! Or lie back in your armchair while the missus prepares the fixin’s–but later in the boudoir, expect word of a headache…
August 25th, 2006 at 8:02 pm
About the sexual peak: that’s about performance, not desire. These findings are about desire.
Now, as we all know, sex is somewhat complicated: enormous fun (if you’re doing it right), the way to make babies and so on. It is also one of the major ways in which relationships are both formed and continually affirmed. What appears to be happening is that the need for such affirmation decays faster in women than in men. This is where the college degree comes in: the man with the college degree is a higher status catch then one without, so the woman is more likely to continually reinforce the long term relationship with sex.
I did see one other commentary on this story: one man said that in his own marriage, things were flagging a little, until he went back to school to get his college degree after 10 years together. When his wife saw all the younger women on campus things perked up for his sex life as she saw the value of confirming their relationship.