It’s All in the Mind
Writing this blog is interesting. I have started to think about all my prejudices - and why I hold them, if I can talk about them to other people without feeling that they are unreasonable. I love the differences between men and women in principle, but of course when I come face to face with them, they often annoy me.
For instance, I enjoy the feeling of interdependence with my partner. I look forward to doing things for him that he could easily do for himself. A classic example is packing for a journey he is going to make. Typically, he would ask me “Have you remembered everything” (one of the most annoying responses ever). We are simply fulfilling certain stereotypical roles - mine one of nurture, his one of - well, what? Being annoying? Passing on responsibility? Acting like a child?
There we are - prejudice written all over this piece, and yet a frequent scene in my life, and I’m sure that I’m not the only person who has enacted this particular play. So how do we combat these silly scenes, or do we have to cultivate a tolerance that can actually be difficult to keep in place on a daily basis?
Everyone has their own answer. Sadly for me, I no longer have to keep the tolerance going - I’m resolutely single after 20 years of married life.
June 6th, 2008 at 11:59 am
We have to cultivate tolerance, most people let the small things get to them. Most of the time we backwards rationalize someones ‘faults’ when it’s really that we’re ‘tightwads’ we let take molehills and blow them up into mountains.
My wife hates not having the dishes returned and in the dish washer within 15 minutes after dinner, even though I am usually late getting the plates back, she will literally hunt me down and come get the plate. She’s come to understand ‘that’s who she IS’ and it’s not my fault that I’m ’slow’ or ‘irreponsible’. She’s so uptight about having things done ‘right away’ always has to be busy, and you learn to appreciate someone for their quirks and admire their faults, rather then being lazy and having unreal expecations about married life or life with a partner.
There are people starving and most people have the LUXURY of being aristocratically picky in north america and certain other countries in the world. The more wealth you are born into the worse person you become because you’re frequently detached from the really TRUE tragedies of the world, and you think the most trivial things are 3 alarm fires. Think of all those families in IRAQ right now.
Most people today don’t have a clue, sadly.