My seventh grade English teacher, Mrs. Turner, paired us up to practice our listening skills. She emphasized that it was important to maintain eye contact, appear genuinely interested, and say little encouraging words like “huh,” “really,” and “okay.” You would think this prepared me well for “speed dating”. Six minutes of polite and active listening, despite the fact that you aren’t remotely interested in Dale’s stamp collection, and you’re debating whether to lie about your age to the next “victim” who is clearly ten years younger than you.

The Dating Crisis
In an effort to find the right mate, many singles are trying alternative dating methods including dating services, online dating, and speed dating. Perhaps this is because the number of adult singles aged 30 to 34 has tripled since 1970, though the majority say they want to be married. Given all these single, and presumably available, individuals; there must be some seriously bad dates thwarting the marriage plans. Can researchers predict the attraction between two people and end the dating crisis?

Faking Out the Love Machine
According to New Scientist, researchers have discovered a way to predict the attraction between two people at a speed dating event by analyzing clues in their voices. One indicator of attraction was the number of interjections that lasted less than a second. The more interjections, the stronger the attraction. Mrs. Turner was WRONG! Good manners and active listening skills seem to fake out the speed dating love machine. Clearly, that’s why I didn’t get any calls after my recent speed-dating adventure; I was too polite.

A Personality Test for Compatibility
Some dating services use tests to predict a couple’s compatibility, including one developed by Dr. Glenn Wilson. This self assessment test, called the Compatibility Quotient, invites participants to complete multiple choice questions (similar to the EQ SQ personality tests) based on 25 factors that most contribute to failed relationships. The closer the answers, the more compatible the two people are. This study dispels the old notion that opposites attract, something that many happily married couples regard as tried and true.

One thing’s for sure, you gotta get out there and strut your stuff before attraction can occur at all. Perhaps the most certain predictor of all is the desire for a partner.

Sources:
• Biography of “Dr. Glenn WIlson” Institute of Psychiatry at the Maudsley, King’s College LONDON
• Hogan, Jenny. “Learn to be Like a Love Machine.” New Scientist. December, 18, 2004, 184(2478): 36 (Login Only)
• The Facts Behind the CQ Test, Cybersuitors
• The Mating Crisis, KSL TV, 2005

About the author
Angela Novel is a chronically single 30-something who has tried all methods of dating services, including speed dating. She considers her combination of low EQ and varied dating experience crucial to her freelancing writing career.