I come from a long line of witches. My mother had an uncanny knack for knowing exactly what I was planning to do. I remember the time she was actually seated waiting at the bar when I walked in nonchalantly with my new beau. As far as I was concerned she thought I was “studying with a friend.” I swear that there was no way she could have known. I lost several hundred “cool” points as a result of that encounter. Said charmer wasn’t nearly as interested in an eighteen-year old high school student as he had been in a twenty-something waitress.

The Family Legacy
My grandmother was positively scary. She knew EVERYTHING. None of her grandchildren (thirteen of us) dared to cross her. She once sent me on an errand to purchase some bread. With the penny change I bought myself some candy. Unbelievably, she was outside the store when I walked out clutching the bread and munching on the forbidden fruit. She could also whistle like a thing possessed. Her (black, of course) dog would wander to the other side of town and she’d bring him back with a whistle that could pierce eardrums. My brother has, on occasion, transformed from a successful businessman into a raving demon (and it has NOTHING whatsoever to do with testing out the new beer varieties for his bar and restaurant). Finally, my sister has always had the uncanny ability to self-diagnose (correctly) ailments that afflict her–no matter how obscure or unlikely they are.

The Next Generation
When I became a mom myself I found I had similar powers. These days, I drive my nine-year old mad when I walk in just as she’s logging onto Webkinz.com. Even worse (for her) is that I know after the fact that she’s been on the Web site (she hasn’t figured out the “History” on the browser, yet). My husband can’t believe that I always call him at the very moment he decides to pack up work for the day and head out on a bike ride, a rock climbing jaunt or to the bar. To be honest, I’m not quite sure how I do that myself (but I’d never tell him that). And my boss never ceases to be amazed by the apparently magical talent I have of nearly always getting my way (it is NOT nagging).

The Final Frontier
Despite my witchy powers, I didn’t quite have what it takes to be the witch of my dreams. I aspired to cause chaos in the lives of innocent victims, but it just didn’t happen. All that changed after an Internet search and a little magic. I thought it only fair that I share my inspirational story.

The video above says it all

About the author
Witch Hazel runs her own business, Hex for Checks, from her home in Reno, NV and is available for personal consultations on all aspects of skullduggery, iniquity, and witchcraft. She is one hundred and fifty years old.

My online education is not complete. There are, apparently, 10,500,000 (that’s ten and half million) web pages devoted to hilarious gags about men and women (search on ‘men women joke’). ‘Men joke’ yielded 16 million pages, while ‘women joke’ served up 15 million. Analyzing the humor could be an interesting psychology study; are women really the butt of fewer wise-cracks than men? Or is there truly more to laugh about with men?

Of course, there are many serious web sites exploring gender differences. No-one really doubts that men and women are different, but every new scientific (and not so scientific) biology or psychology study yields a new difference (or similarity) between men and women. Most of them are published online, it seems, and I feel compelled to share my new-found education.

An Online Education in Physical Differences between Men and Women
The Women’s Sports Foundation believes a fair boxing competition is possible between a man and a woman as long as they are matched for physical variables. This is hard to imagine when protective gear for two such different physical variables is required. A UK study shows that men often achieve better sports performance times because of testosterone (let’s face it—it is the answer to everything). This male hormone encourages the production of hemoglobin (the stuff than carries oxygen around in the blood) and as a result men can produce more energy and achieve better performance times. A University of Michigan study indicates that in a group of men and women of comparable height, weight, and fitness, the women were more likely to sustain a particular type of knee injury. Where’s the justice in that?

An Online Education in Differences in Psychology between Men and Women
A psychology study from the University of California, Irvine shows that men and women can have similar IQs, but quite different brains. Men have more gray matter (responsible for information processing) and women have more white matter (responsible for networking information). A special issue of Fortune magazine celebrating women in business reveals that men are blind-sided by crises that women are more likely to anticipate. On the other hand, in an admittedly unscientific survey conducted by Bruce Balsam of Elliot Horowitz & Co., men claim that they would take professional advice for their finances, while women say they would not. This appears to be backed up by another Fortune article that reveals the average 10-month return on stock of 8 female CEO’s. Minus 14.8%. Sigh.

The Ultimate Online Education Trivia
Perhaps the most riveting piece of Internet nonsense (I’m beginning to think that online education is an oxymoron) comes from The Linux Documentation Project. The “How To” section includes instruction on “the 3 button serial mouse,” “3D graphics modeling and rendering,” “802.1X port-based authentication,” and, of course, “How to Encourage Women in Linux.” I’m sure it’s very sexist to assume that women need to be encouraged, but men, presumably, do not. Worthy of a psychology study, for sure.

Does anyone actually know what Linux is?

Sources:
• Female and male athletes seem to respond to training in a comparable manner. Peak Performance
• The Art of the Decision, by Janet Guyton; and Hall of Fame, by Eugenia Levenson, Fortune, Nov. 14, 2005
• Contact Sports - Male Versus Female Competition in Boxing: The Foundation Position, Women’s Sports Foundation
• Intelligence in Men and Women is a Gray and White Matter, (2005), University of California, Irvine
• Knee Injuries Likelier for Female Athletes, The University Record (March 5, 2001)

About the author
Katrina Boydon is a systemizing female with empathizing traits. She is as likely to be found crying over a sad film as balancing her bank account to the last cent.

Women have always been “the fairer sex” and, no doubt, many arguments can be made on the esthetics of beauty for and against this. However, when it comes down to it, this is a subjective observation. What about cleverness? Are there objective measures that can indicate categorically if the male brain or the female brain has the greatest capacity for intelligence?

There are many professional and self-assessment tests around to measure the supposed “intelligence” of males and females. Our very own EQ and SQ tests sit alongside other emotional intelligence tests and a vast range of personality tests that purport to elucidate the truth about male and female brains. But what do the facts say?

What the Statistics Say about Male Versus Female Intelligence
The National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) reports that in 2004 17-year old females outperformed males in reading, while 17-year old males outperformed females in mathematics. This would seem to support the notion that male and female “intelligence” is different but not that one gender is cleverer than the other.

Have Women Become More Intelligent in the last 30 Years?
Another study from NCES highlights the changes in womens’ higher education since 1970. From being the minority of undergraduates in 1970, women became the majority in 2001. This trend is projected to increase through 2013. Does this mean that women have become cleverer?

The Truth About Women’s Intelligence
NCES examines the increase in women undergraduates in different sectors of the population and the results are telling. In the period from 1999 to 2000 women comprised 63% black undergraduates, 62% students age 40 or older, and 70% single parents. It seems, then, that the increase in intelligent women is associated more with groups that historically have had less opportunity (or perhaps desire) to further their education.

The real truth is that this tells us nothing about the innate intelligence of either gender. It tells us that more women are seeking to become better educated but nothing about whether they are able to learn more effectively (surely one measure of intelligence).

Unless, of course, the pursuit of knowledge per se is an indication of superior intelligence, in which case women are taking the lead in the gender intelligence battle.

Sources:
• Trends in Educational Equity for Girls & Women, 2004, National Center for Education Statistics
• Gender Differences in Participation and Completion of Undergraduate Education and How They Have Changed Over Time, by Katharin Peter and Laura Horn, 2005, National Center for Education Statistics

About the author
Katrina Boydon is a systemizing female with empathizing traits. She is as likely to be found crying over a sad film as balancing her bank account to the last cent.